Kiwiwi (ohnopot) wrote,

 Kansai Johnny's Junior
The Pimp Post
Part 1

IF THERE WAS EVER A BUNCH OF FLAILY, LAUGH HAPPY JUNIORS, THESE WOULD BE THEM. They're like a little mini K8 except larger, and by effect louder and even though they all have their own groups no one ever really remembers that and are just everywhere. Invade each other's songs? Why the hell not! Dropping to your knees in front of the crotch of another unit? Of course it happens.

But, as it is, they ARE split into groups! Even if the group is part of a larger group. Which is part of a larger group and WE MUST GO DEEPER.

DISCLAIMER: Images for these posts are sourced, for the most part, from LJ users shatteredtenshi , snowqueenofhoth and enshinge . Images pulled from weibo will have a source in the corner, and as I, actually, don't understand Chinese nor have an account, if any of the users have reposting rules I just need to be told and will take them down.

Anything that doesn't fall into the prior categories came from tumblr or are personal scans.

And as easy as it would be for me to fall back on older pictures, I'm going to actually be trying to avoid anything prior to 2009 - unless it's absolutely amazing(Or the photo editing department wanted to use it). Want anything that old? This Kanju pimp post from 2008 helps.

I ALSO LOVE HELP. I love it a lot, I don't know enough about the younger kanju and askladj.

So let's introduce our first group, we have...!

B.A.D BOYS Veteran
AKA: What Poor Bastard Comes Up With These Names
(Possible name change to B.A.D.Veteran in 3.. 2..)

Like Ebikisu was to the Tokyo juniors, BBV are the three oldest groups in the Kansai ranks, ranging from 20-26 years old, and some of the most popular to boot. Though you wont find them working at a movie store, sadly.

This is the unit you're most likely to find KanJani8 fans in! Mostly because of how many drinking stories there are with them, the age range crosses over with the younger half, too.

Not to mention they have their own group song! BIG GAME, and it was one of the most requested song in Shounen Club's history when it was finally played in the 2010 September episodes.

Beautiful American Dreams

At currently two members, B.A.D is the oldest Kansai Junior group, having been stolen from Tokyo in about 2004. Having been formed far earlier and sporting members such as Akanishi Jin, Kato Shigeaki, and Koyama Keiichirou, it only came to settle down in 2006 after having forfeited even more members to Veteran and BOYS.

It's also the most well know group in Kansai. And the gayest one.

Kiriyama Akito

The cross eyed, kicked puppy of the lot, no, really, his angry face is that of a kicked puppy. He's like a penguin, really, in the way that he doesn't settle down! Also the one who can never escape the image of being a yankee due to Gokusen 3. AND HE NEVER SHUTS UP. He is, pretty much, a walking example of the Osakan stereotype, and he knows damn well how to use it to his advantage. Managed to get him casted as a young comedian in Nagareboshi, now didn't it?

Certain KanJu have call and responses for concerts, so of COURSE Akito has one. He'll call out "Minna no atsui beato?", you'll respond "Choudai!".

Nakama Junta

For a man who's had to put up with being a Kansai junior for the better part of the last decade, Junta tends to appear rather sane. Like a prince, smooth movements and even smoother words... he also has no shame. His call and response in concerts is "JunJun ni~?" "KyunKyun!" and you know that hand-head thing from caramel dansen? Yeah? Have at it.

Bokutachi Osaka Yankee Shounen

(It's right about now you realise what BBV stands for. Beautiful American Dreams Bokutachi Osaka Yankee Shounen Veteran. In an understandable English sentence, of course, that would be We Are Veteran Boys From Osaka With Beautiful American Dreams. And you thought it couldn't get worse.)

Is also technically a defunct group. It used to be four members, dropped to two members and then dropped further to one member. More on that in a minute.

Hamada Takahiro

One of the nicest guys, can't really even get that mad at people, and the one most of the kanju would date if they were girls because he's the type of guy you could take home to your parents. Yet he's constantly mocked for looking like a monkey or a horse.

...yeah. BOYS.

Just As It Sounds

As in, JE has this thing for really stupid group names, be they acronyms based on the names of the members (OSSaN), or really stupid names otherwise (BOYS) or both in the same name (Kis-My-Ft2). And then you have a group like Veteran, who are the veterans of the Kansai juniors, having joined mostly between 1998 and 1999. Originally four members, and not an official group, they picked up two of the former BOYS members between 2008/2010 depending on who you ask and were finally given songs. Both of the new members seem to have joined in about 2002, in comparison.

Now down to five members...

And in order of oldest to youngest we have...!

Kikuoka Masahiro

Kiku is flail. Oh, I can say that about everyone, but it's special flail. Kiku is not flail, flail is Kiku. Eats everything you gives, just because it's there. Might as well not waste it! His mental age is probably like 70. BUT HIS HEART IS LIKE 5.

Hamanaka Bunichi

Bun is.. how does one put this lightly. An alien. He's just weird. His timing is way off, his face is blank as a boss half the time, but he's brilliant at comedy because of it. Calls people idiots in a deadpan, and is always straight to the point. Brusque.

Also awkward as all hell! That blank face ain't there for not reason at all~. He was this cute little awkward grin and damn can he sing. Not bad at dancing either... well. Until you realize he's the one standing in the back during Butoukan performances while everyone else is flipping around.

Muro Tatsuki

MAMA TATSUKI. Not that anyone ever listens to him when he mothers them. Dotes on his younger brothers like a pro even if they do not like it. AT ALL. And just get all flaily.

HE ALSO TENDS TO FAIL A LOT. Like, more than normal, in that he bombs jokes all the time. And may or may not steal jokes from Ryuta family. HAVE THE COMPLAINT. (link to enshinge subs, you need to join the comm)


The call and response here, because he has to always always always fail - "Mucha-Mu-chan. Mucha Mucha Mu-chan?" You? "Mucha Mu-chan!" (Absurd Mu-chan, of course)

Muro Ryuta

He's.. rather feminine. Probably gets bothered on trains aaaall the time for that. He also has this thing where he gets SUPER EMBARRASSED if any member of his family gets squishy towards him. THIS HAPPENS A LOT, OF COURSE. So you get him all yelling at Tatsuki, BBV, the fans... Little bit of a yankee, that kid.

Also has about as much shame as his older brother the rest of the time. ♥

Yamasaki Kunta

Was one of the squishiest little juniors ever, seriously, he looked like a tomboy and then he somehow grew up into a FREAKING HOST. Well, mostly in the looks department. He's still forever dumb, awkward, flaily and a bit of a food lover. All you can eat, normal places, apparently a lot of Korean!

His world is made of smiles. Kunta's a bit obnoxious, but that's just because he throws himself into everything without much care for the end result and he's everyone's mood maker and just wants laughs all around. AND HIS LAUGH IS HILARIOUS. It's this high cackle that you can't mistake for ANYTHING ELSE and just. Prepare to hear it. A LOT.

Kunta's also that one junior who managed to somehow leave the company for a few months and thn come right back in! No one's really sure how, but he disappeared in late 08, and reappeared as a member of Veteran in 09! Lucky little bastard.

His call and response, backing up that host image, just happens to be "Irasshaimase~". Your response? "Kunta-sama!"

Former Members

Nakata Daichi

This is what I meant by in a minute. The other half of BOYS until only a few months ago - and I can't honestly say that he left on the best of terms. Dropped off the Johnnys scene for a month and a half until he got his ass arrested for theft. 400$ from another man in an internet cafe - stated reasons being that he had "left home" and had no more money left.

Was really loud, rather agressive, and if you so much as put him in the same area as Akito no one would EVER GET A WORD IN. Just like what happens when you try to get between two hyperactive puppies, really.

Itou Masashi

Maashii was like Veteran's dad. A bit absent minded, spacey and had he been born a quarter century earlier he would have debuted young. Seriously. He'd fit right in with the 70's Johnnys. AND HIS HEART SHALL NEVER BE SWAYED. He still wants to be an astronaut. At age 26. Have a gold star for effort, dad.

Recently left the company, but you can't convince me that he didn't just end out becoming a kanju manager. That is, unless you believe he.. ended up as a waiter. Take your pick.

And you know what, mini BBV spam.

Part 2!
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